Thursday, August 23, 2018

Why You Still Here

I'm kinda thinking I'm on a roll this week.  I posted about your mama didn't do it this way the other day and I had a friend message me something just as funny and of course I have a story.  So I will just share with ya'll and hope it makes you smile or as I like to say laugh out loud.

Her story goes something like this.  She has been divorced for many years, but her mama still has her wedding pictures up and won't take them down.  Well my story is similar but at least my pictures aren't up where I have to see the CHB every time I go see my mama, which is every Sunday.  I would tell you what CHB means but my mama would give me a whooping, 'cause it ain't nice.  LOL

My story goes back several years ago we made my mama a scrap book with all our wedding pictures and added our kids pictures as they came along.  This might not be exact but this is my story.  Since I had a real wedding this time (meaning I didn't run off to Walhalla, SC) like I did the first time I was proud to add my beautiful wedding pictures to this album for my mama.   I was in LOVE, so that made me want to put extra ones, which of course I did.  For ya'll that know me, you know that LOVE didn't last so every time I pick that book up and look at it, I want to rip those lovely pictures right out of there.  That's when my mama speaks up and says something to the effect of  "that's my book, you ain't taking anything out of there."  So guess what?  20 years later those stinking pictures are still in that book.

The funnier story (to me) is about my lovely wedding pictures I mentioned earlier.  We had lots of wedding pictures as every bride and groom does and bought the photo album to go with it.  I mean you want to be able to look back every now and then how beautiful a bride you were and hopefully see that the groom was equally as handsome.  We both fit this description at the wedding but there is one problem with my wedding pictures now.   I cut the groom out of EVERY one of them.  Yep, I ain't kidding, every one of them.  He may have been all handsome in that black western tux and cowboy hat, but apparently that wasn't enough to keep me from getting all crazy and cutting him out.  Lord have mercy what was I thinking?   Evidently I wasn't, those things cost a lot of money.

Lesson today?  If you find yourself staring at an ex picture at your mama's, just remember that Bible verse in Exodus that tells us to honor our mother and father.  I for one am not going to argue with that, so when my mama tells me that's her book, well alrighty then...I'm not about to take any pictures out. I may be however old I'm not telling, but I'm still scared of my mama.  Yep, she might be older too, but I ain't waiting around to find out if she can still give me a whooping 'cause I know she could and would if she thought I needed it.

This brings to mind the old cliche'.if mama ain't happy, ain't nobdy happy.  So for the sake of any argument, let's just smile and agree with mama.  Don't look at that book more than you have too and just look the other way when you visit and the ex picture is still on the piano.

Monday, August 20, 2018

Don't Think Mama Done It This Way

Hold on ya'll, here is another funny one.  Last week I heard the song Don't Think Hank Done It This Way and it reminded me of a story my mama tells all the time about my daddy.  So I'm going to share hoping to save some poor soul from making the mistake my daddy made. 

Mama said when they first got married, she made bread and butter pickles 'cause my daddy liked them.  I'm sure knowing my mama and her cooking, they were good pickles, but my daddy had the nerve to tell her they didn't taste like his mama's.  Oh Lord, was he crazy?  Evidently, because my mama said probably not, I'm not your mama.  This might have just been the last time my daddy got bread and butter pickles, at least from my mama.

So this leads me to my very own mama didn't do it this way story.  When I first married I cooked some pinto beans.  Being young and not ever taking the time to learn how to cook, the pinto beans burned.  It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out the beans weren't good, but my husband (kinda like my daddy) must have had a temporary lack of judgement because he just blurted it right out.  "These don't taste like my mama's.  Well, you think?  I am my mama's child, so I politely, yes politely said... of course they don't, they're burned!!!  Ya'll don't need me to finish this story, 'cause you know how it ends.  No more pinto beans for him!!

This brings me to my son and his mama didn't do it this way story.  When he first got married his wife made I think chicken & dumplings for dinner.  His wife really didn't make them the way me or my mama made them and of course the first thing out of my son's mouth was these don't taste like mama's.  Crazy kid, did I not teach him anything?  He got lucky, his sweet wife wasn't as feisty as me and my mama, she asked me how I made them.  Bless her heart she was in love.   Needless to say I didn't want my son to never get chicken & dumplings again, so I put a bug in his ear not to EVER and I mean EVER say something doesn't taste like his mama's.  Then I proceeded to tell him why.

Lesson today?  VERY SIMPLE...don't ever tell your wife, girlfriend or significant other that something doesn't taste like your mama's.  It might be best that you eat it (if you can) 'cause you might just never get it again and it might just be your favorite food they tried to make.  I mean seriously I bet your mama had to make it many times before she mastered it.  That is of course if someone didn't say those famous words, "this don't taste like my mama's" and she tried it again.

 Sweet Southern Sass

Thursday, August 9, 2018

Let's Get Fabulicious

OK this might be a little short post but I've had this word  FABULICIOUS stuck in my head all day!  I've got my idea what it means, but I wanted to see what the trusty little internet had to say and this is what I found.  A combination of fabulous and delicious; someone or something so gorgeous or perfect that you could eat it up.

Well alrighty then...something so fabulous or delicious, something gorgeous.   Ya'll better sit down on this one 'cause it's about to get good up in here.

Since this is my blog, and I'm in control for the time being, the one thing I can think of that would fit this description of fabulicious is Agent Derrick Morgan, aka Hondo, aka Shemar Moore.   Lord have mercy and for the love of Peter, Paul and Mary how could anyone not think he's fabulicious?  He definitely had a good dentist 'cause he's got the pearliest of pearl white teeth I've ever seen.  And when he smiles, he could make a grown woman cry.

So going with the flow as Merle Haggard says, this made up word could be used to describe something totally different than the man Agent Derrick Morgan, but for this sassy little southern thang I can't think of a better word to describe him.

Ya'll might think this post is a little shallow, but that's OK 'cause I've said many times I don't pick my Nascar driver's by their driving ability and I don't pick my favorite football player because of their talent.  It's more like how they look in their driver suit and ain't nothing wrong watching a few "tight ends."    I probably just got myself in a whole lot of trouble if my mama reads this, but she's known me for about (well let's just say a few years) and she ain't surprised at anything I say or in this case write.  BTW, my favorite country singers wear Wrangler jeans and ya'll know what they say about Wrangler jeans.

I'm not sure I can find a lesson in this craziness but I'm thinking ya'll  need to google this word fabulicious. Close your eyes and see what comes to mind that is so fabulously, deliciously gorgeous it makes you smile..  It doesn't have to be crazy like what I just wrote, but if it's something that makes you giggle or smile a little bit, then I've done my job.  I've written something that maybe took your mind away from the troubles of the day and hopefully made you laugh at this crazy self.

Love to all,
Sweet Southern Sass